Misophonia, The Condition Controlling My Life
| 'Misophonia, the rope that binds me'
What is it?
Misophonia, a rare condition which in definition is known as the hatred of sound. It starts off with a trigger, usually sound however can be visual and sets off a negative reaction. The condition is usually developed from ages 9-13 years old and typically women. There is no set cause and treatment is very minimal. When trying to explain the condition to others I explain it like nails on a chalkboard.
I see posts on Facebook ‘If you hate the sound of chewing you probably have misophonia’ and friends tagging each other saying i totally have this omg. Misophonia is not just getting annoyed at someone smacking their lips. What they don’t see is the anxiety, depression and suicidal tendencies that can come along with this invisible condition.
The first time I recall ever noticing the reaction was when I was 8 years old. My mumma was brushing my hair and my brother was shaking his leg and I was so angry and frustrated over it that I started to cry. Ever since that day it has gotten worse and worse. My parent’s chose to ignore it when they first understood that these certain sounds and movements would cause such a response. They ignored it in hope that it would go away with time and I definitely don’t blame them as I thought I was crazy for feeling this way.
Sitting in a classroom, eating at a cafe, riding public transport all sounds like torture to me. Such everyday tasks for others are difficult for me and after going out to lunch I’m so drained from the mental and physical stress my body has gone through.
The reaction to these noises often causes me to have a panic attack sending me into fight or flight mode. Due to the response my brain has to these noises it causes me to stay at home alot, afraid to go out and hear the noises which are inescapable. Knowing that there is no 'cure' or proven treatment for misophonia is very disheartening and tends to make me feel hopeless as the disorder has caused my anxiety and depression.
Misophonia needs recognition and not just known as 'chewing rage' for all the sufferers, so that one day there will be treatment.